The Turds

You know that when the sh*t's gonna hit the fan all you can do is sit back, let it happen and maybe enjoy a cup of tea whilst you're at it.

The Turd world isn't all fun and games; there is a dark side as well, and this is where Smellboy comes in. Hailing from the Forbidden Zone, Smellboy's quest is to kick the crap out of any evil sh*t that appears!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of bum! Welcome to the latest pirate to battle the rim; Will Turder!

Smellraiser; the scariest sh*t ever found in the bowels of the Turd World. With a limited production run of only 5000, get him while you can!

David Crapham, world renowned shatball player, is the best looking Turd around, and he knows it!

He's a baaaaaad mother-crapper! Whifty Scent tries to keep his arse clean, but there's always some cack addicted turdette with a kiss and smell story keeping him in the headlines.

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow in the bedroom? Then the Sh*te Lover Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow in the kitchen? Then the Sh*te Cook Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow when behind the wheel of a car? Then the Sh*te Driver Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

The Sh*tfaced Ashtray is a flushed item, and is highly collectible, making it a perfect present, either for yourself or a fan!

Part of the Turds 2005 collection, this charming little sh*t is a totally devoted turdettes' favourite!

The diarrhoea of the Turd World, surviving on a diet of raw crappy food is one of the many reasons Sick Sh*t is always ill.

As part of the Turds 2006 collection, Sh*t For Brains really looks up to his idols such as The Elephant Pan and Frankenstrain. They remind him of himself; a sad, lonely piece of crap.

Bad Sh*t is part of the Turds 2007 range, and is a staunch reminder to us all of what 'the morning after the night before' looks like. Been there, done that!

Part of the popular Turds 2007 range, Bullsh*tter is a proper cheeky little arse; he'll do literally anything to get his filthy hands on your cash!

Log On, the ultimate geeky piece of plop, is, by day a hard working nurse from Stainsfield Hospital. By night the ultimate Rim Trek geek!

Put in the nicest possible way, Nutty is the most insane and twisted sh*t you could ever have the pleasure of meeting.

What a charming fellow! We've all seen Pebble Dash; he's the 'Englishman Abroad' Turd that likes to hang out on beaches, burning himself to a crisp whilst gently marinading in a cocktail of lager and shots.