The Turds

You know that when the sh*t's gonna hit the fan all you can do is sit back, let it happen and maybe enjoy a cup of tea whilst you're at it.

The Turd world isn't all fun and games; there is a dark side as well, and this is where Smellboy comes in. Hailing from the Forbidden Zone, Smellboy's quest is to kick the crap out of any evil sh*t that appears!

Smellraiser; the scariest sh*t ever found in the bowels of the Turd World. With a limited production run of only 5000, get him while you can!

David Crapham, world renowned shatball player, is the best looking Turd around, and he knows it!

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow in the bedroom? Then the Sh*te Lover Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow in the kitchen? Then the Sh*te Cook Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow when behind the wheel of a car? Then the Sh*te Driver Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow on the football pitch? Then the Sh*te Footballer Trophy is an ideal gift for them!

Part of the Turds 2005 collection, this charming little sh*t is a totally devoted turdettes' favourite!

As part of the Turds 2006 collection, Sh*t For Brains really looks up to his idols such as The Elephant Pan and Frankenstrain. They remind him of himself; a sad, lonely piece of crap.

Put in the nicest possible way, Nutty is the most insane and twisted sh*t you could ever have the pleasure of meeting.

What a charming fellow! We've all seen Pebble Dash; he's the 'Englishman Abroad' Turd that likes to hang out on beaches, burning himself to a crisp whilst gently marinading in a cocktail of lager and shots.