The Turds
Highly collectable figurines made of polyresin, The Turds are great for anyone who likes a little bit of potty humour.
No celebrity or character is safe from being turned into an ironic pile of poo!
The Sh*t's Gonna Hit The Fan Mug
£14.99
In Stock
You know that when the sh*t's gonna hit the fan all you can do is sit back, let it happen and maybe enjoy a cup of tea whilst you're at it.
More Details...Smellboy
£24.99
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The Turd world isn't all fun and games; there is a dark side as well, and this is where Smellboy comes in. Hailing from the Forbidden Zone, Smellboy's quest is to kick the crap out of any evil sh*t that appears!
More Details...Will Turder
£9.99
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Yo ho ho and a bottle of bum! Welcome to the latest pirate to battle the rim; Will Turder!
More Details...Smell Raiser
£14.99
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Smellraiser; the scariest sh*t ever found in the bowels of the Turd World. With a limited production run of only 5000, get him while you can!
More Details...David Crapham
£14.99
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David Crapham, world renowned shatball player, is the best looking Turd around, and he knows it!
More Details...Whifty Scent
£9.99
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He's a baaaaaad mother-crapper! Whifty Scent tries to keep his arse clean, but there's always some cack addicted turdette with a kiss and smell story keeping him in the headlines.
More Details...Sh*te Lover
£12.99
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Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow in the bedroom? Then the Sh*te Lover Trophy is an ideal gift for them!
More Details...Sh*te Cook
£12.99
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Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow in the kitchen? Then the Sh*te Cook Trophy is an ideal gift for them!
More Details...Sh*te Driver
£12.99
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Do you know someone who can barely tell their arse from their elbow when behind the wheel of a car? Then the Sh*te Driver Trophy is an ideal gift for them!
More Details...Sh*tfaced Ashtray
£19.99
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The Sh*tfaced Ashtray is a flushed item, and is highly collectible, making it a perfect present, either for yourself or a fan!
More Details...Sloppy Sh*t
£9.99
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Part of the Turds 2005 collection, this charming little sh*t is a totally devoted turdettes' favourite!
More Details...Sick Sh*t
£9.99
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The diarrhoea of the Turd World, surviving on a diet of raw crappy food is one of the many reasons Sick Sh*t is always ill.
More Details...Sh*t For Brains
£9.99
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As part of the Turds 2006 collection, Sh*t For Brains really looks up to his idols such as The Elephant Pan and Frankenstrain. They remind him of himself; a sad, lonely piece of crap.
More Details...Bad Sh*t
£9.99
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Bad Sh*t is part of the Turds 2007 range, and is a staunch reminder to us all of what 'the morning after the night before' looks like. Been there, done that!
More Details...Bullsh*tter
£9.99
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Part of the popular Turds 2007 range, Bullsh*tter is a proper cheeky little arse; he'll do literally anything to get his filthy hands on your cash!
More Details...Log On
£9.99
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Log On, the ultimate geeky piece of plop, is, by day a hard working nurse from Stainsfield Hospital. By night the ultimate Rim Trek geek!
More Details...Nutty
£9.99
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Put in the nicest possible way, Nutty is the most insane and twisted sh*t you could ever have the pleasure of meeting.
More Details...Pebble Dash
£9.99
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What a charming fellow! We've all seen Pebble Dash; he's the 'Englishman Abroad' Turd that likes to hang out on beaches, burning himself to a crisp whilst gently marinading in a cocktail of lager and shots.
More Details...Top ten tips for looking after your Turd.
- Handle this Turd with care. Like any Turd, misuse will hurt its feelings.
- Some people... amazingly, find Turds offensive. Treat your Turd with more respect than these people.
- Do not flush away this Turd, it is not trained to come back.
- Do not place this Turd in direct sunlight, it will go crusty.
- Do not place this Turd near bleach, bog brushes or toilet paper, as the shock may cause it deep distress.
- Do not try to return this Turd to its place of birth... you will lose friends.
- Do not try to impress your friends and family with the fact that you have purchased a Turd, you may be sectioned to a mental institution.
- Attempts at copying your new Turd will only produce bum results. Remember, Turds are nurtured in the hands of highly trained experts.
- Please do not complain about your new purchase. We'd like to remind you that you've bought a pile of sh*t.
- Finally, do not take these tips seriously! It's all part of the infectious fun of the Turds, and if you did believe them... see a psychiatrist!

























